Joke time....
- Thread starter Birddogyz
- Start date
oldognewtrick
In memory of
oldognewtrick
In memory of
oldognewtrick
In memory of
oldognewtrick
In memory of
oldognewtrick
In memory of
I was eating breakfast with my teenage granddaughter and I asked her,
"What special day is it tomorrow?".
Without skipping a beat she said, "It's U.S. Congressman's Day!"
She's smart, so I asked her "What does that mean?".
I was not ready for what she was about to say.
She replied, "U.S. Congressman's Day is when they step out of the Capital Building and see their shadow, then we have 4 more years of Bull ****."
You know, it hurts when hot coffee spurts out of your nose.
"What special day is it tomorrow?".
Without skipping a beat she said, "It's U.S. Congressman's Day!"
She's smart, so I asked her "What does that mean?".
I was not ready for what she was about to say.
She replied, "U.S. Congressman's Day is when they step out of the Capital Building and see their shadow, then we have 4 more years of Bull ****."
You know, it hurts when hot coffee spurts out of your nose.
oldognewtrick
In memory of
That baby is thinking lunch. LOL!
oldognewtrick
In memory of
She was standing in the kitchen, preparing our usual soft-boiled eggs and toast for breakfast, wearing only the T-shirt that she normally slept in.
As I walked in, almost awake, she turned to me and said softly, “You've got to make love to me this very moment!"
My eyes lit up and I thought, "I am either still dreaming or this is going to be my lucky day!"
Not wanting to lose the moment, I embraced her and then gave it my all; right there on the kitchen table.
Afterwards, she said, ‘Thanks’, and returned to the stove, her T-shirt still around her neck.
Happy, but a little puzzled, I asked, “What was that all about?"
She explained, “The Egg Timer is Broken."
Unfortunately, The Eggs Were Still Undercooked!
As I walked in, almost awake, she turned to me and said softly, “You've got to make love to me this very moment!"
My eyes lit up and I thought, "I am either still dreaming or this is going to be my lucky day!"
Not wanting to lose the moment, I embraced her and then gave it my all; right there on the kitchen table.
Afterwards, she said, ‘Thanks’, and returned to the stove, her T-shirt still around her neck.
Happy, but a little puzzled, I asked, “What was that all about?"
She explained, “The Egg Timer is Broken."
Unfortunately, The Eggs Were Still Undercooked!
oldognewtrick
In memory of
oldognewtrick
In memory of
If you appreciate country music, you just might like this.
oldognewtrick
In memory of
oldognewtrick
In memory of
So I get home this morning and my dog is laying on my porch covered in dirt and mud and has a rabbit in his mouth. He's not bloody, just dirty.
Now, my neighbors raised these rabbits for 4H and have blue ribbon winners. I instantly knew it was one of theirs. So I get the rabbit away from my dog, I take it inside, wash all the dirt off and before my neighbors got home I took it over, put him back in the cage and went back home.
Not 30 minutes later I hear my neighbors screaming, so I go out and ask them what's wrong?
They tell me their rabbit died three days ago and they buried it but now it's back in the cage.
Now, my neighbors raised these rabbits for 4H and have blue ribbon winners. I instantly knew it was one of theirs. So I get the rabbit away from my dog, I take it inside, wash all the dirt off and before my neighbors got home I took it over, put him back in the cage and went back home.
Not 30 minutes later I hear my neighbors screaming, so I go out and ask them what's wrong?
They tell me their rabbit died three days ago and they buried it but now it's back in the cage.
oldognewtrick
In memory of
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