Floorist
The Almighty
A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural North Wairarapa. He shot
> and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other
> side of a fence.
>
> As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on
> his tractor and asked him what he was doing.
>
> The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field,
> and now I'm going to retrieve it."
>
> The old farmer replied, "This is my property, and you are not coming
> over here."
>
> The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in
> New Zealand and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and
> take everything you own."
>
> The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we
> settle disputes in North Wairarapa. We settle small disagreements
> like this with the 'Three Kick Rule.'"
>
> The lawyer asked, "What is the 'Three Kick Rule'?"
>
> The Farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, I
> get to go first. I kick you three times and then you kick me three
> times and so on back and forth until someone gives up."
>
> The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided
> that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the
> local custom.
>
> The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to
> the attorney. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel toed
> work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees!
> His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing
> from his mouth. The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's third
> kick to his rear end, sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie.
>
> The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and remaining strength and
> very slowly managed to get to his feet. Wiping his face with the arm
> of his jacket, he said, "Okay, you old fart. Now it's my turn."
>
> (I love this part)
>
>
> The old farmer smiled and said, "Nah, I give up. You can have the duck."
> and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other
> side of a fence.
>
> As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on
> his tractor and asked him what he was doing.
>
> The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field,
> and now I'm going to retrieve it."
>
> The old farmer replied, "This is my property, and you are not coming
> over here."
>
> The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in
> New Zealand and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and
> take everything you own."
>
> The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we
> settle disputes in North Wairarapa. We settle small disagreements
> like this with the 'Three Kick Rule.'"
>
> The lawyer asked, "What is the 'Three Kick Rule'?"
>
> The Farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, I
> get to go first. I kick you three times and then you kick me three
> times and so on back and forth until someone gives up."
>
> The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided
> that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the
> local custom.
>
> The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to
> the attorney. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel toed
> work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees!
> His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing
> from his mouth. The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's third
> kick to his rear end, sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie.
>
> The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and remaining strength and
> very slowly managed to get to his feet. Wiping his face with the arm
> of his jacket, he said, "Okay, you old fart. Now it's my turn."
>
> (I love this part)
>
>
> The old farmer smiled and said, "Nah, I give up. You can have the duck."
