Joke time....
- Thread starter Birddogyz
- Start date
Floorist
The Almighty
Floorist
The Almighty
Floorist
The Almighty
A rabbi, a Hind*u priest, and a politician went hiking. Night fell and they were exhausted. The hotel on the map was nowhere to be seen:
They knocked on the door of a farm and asked if they could spend the night.
The farmer said. "Of course, but I only have a small room with two beds. One of you will have to sleep in the barn."
The Hindu priest said. "I need no material comforts. I will gladly take the barn."
The rabbi and the politician were settling in the room, when they heard a knock on the door. They opened it to find the Hindu priest standing there.
"So sorry, my friends, but there is a cow in the barn, and I cannot sleep beside such a holy animal."
The rabbi said." No problem, my brother. I’ll take the barn."
The Hind*u priest and the politician were settling in the room, when they heard a knock on the door. They opened it to find the rabbi standing there.
"So sorry, my friends, but there’s a pi*g in the barn, and I can’t sleep beside such a fil*thy anima*l."
The politician said. "OK, let it be remembered that I sacrificed my comfort for the greater good."
The rabbi and the Hind*u priest were settling in the room, when they heard a knock on the door. They opened it to find the pi*g and the cow standing there........
They knocked on the door of a farm and asked if they could spend the night.
The farmer said. "Of course, but I only have a small room with two beds. One of you will have to sleep in the barn."
The Hindu priest said. "I need no material comforts. I will gladly take the barn."
The rabbi and the politician were settling in the room, when they heard a knock on the door. They opened it to find the Hindu priest standing there.
"So sorry, my friends, but there is a cow in the barn, and I cannot sleep beside such a holy animal."
The rabbi said." No problem, my brother. I’ll take the barn."
The Hind*u priest and the politician were settling in the room, when they heard a knock on the door. They opened it to find the rabbi standing there.
"So sorry, my friends, but there’s a pi*g in the barn, and I can’t sleep beside such a fil*thy anima*l."
The politician said. "OK, let it be remembered that I sacrificed my comfort for the greater good."
The rabbi and the Hind*u priest were settling in the room, when they heard a knock on the door. They opened it to find the pi*g and the cow standing there........
Floorist
The Almighty
Whenever I leave a fancy restaurant, I tell the people coming in, "the squirrel is good today".
oldognewtrick
In memory of
oldognewtrick
In memory of
Floorist
The Almighty
Today I had to go to Lowe's. As I approached the entrance, I noticed a female driver looking for a parking space. I flagged the driver down and pointed out a handicap parking space that was open and available. The driver looked puzzled, rolled down her window and said, "I'm not handicapped!"
Well, as you can imagine, my face was red! "Oh, I'm sorry," I said. "I saw your 'I'm Ridin with Biden' " bumper sticker and just assumed that you suffer from a mental disorder."
She gave me the finger and screamed some nasty names at me. Boy! Some people just don't appreciate it when you're only trying to help them....
Well, as you can imagine, my face was red! "Oh, I'm sorry," I said. "I saw your 'I'm Ridin with Biden' " bumper sticker and just assumed that you suffer from a mental disorder."
She gave me the finger and screamed some nasty names at me. Boy! Some people just don't appreciate it when you're only trying to help them....
Floorist
The Almighty
Floorist
The Almighty
oldognewtrick
In memory of
Floorist
The Almighty
oldognewtrick
In memory of
Floorist
The Almighty
Floorist
The Almighty
Actual post from a page I own:
Does Dom and O's clothes at ate on twosdays?
Does Dom and O's clothes at ate on twosdays?
oldognewtrick
In memory of
...what?...
Floorist
The Almighty
There I was, sitting at the bar staring at my drink when a large, trouble-making biker steps up next to me, grabs my drink and gulps it down in one swig.
"Well, whatcha' gonna do about it" he says menacingly, as I burst into tears.
"Come on, man," the biker says, "I didn't think you'd CRY. I can't stand to see a man crying."
"This is the worst day of my life," I say. "I'm a complete failure. I was late for a meeting and my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen and I don't have any insurance. I left my wallet in the cab I took home. I found my wife with another man and then my dog bit me.
So I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all - -I buy a drink, I drop a capsule in and sit here watching the poison dissolve; then you show up and drink the whole thing, ...........how is your day going?
"Well, whatcha' gonna do about it" he says menacingly, as I burst into tears.
"Come on, man," the biker says, "I didn't think you'd CRY. I can't stand to see a man crying."
"This is the worst day of my life," I say. "I'm a complete failure. I was late for a meeting and my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen and I don't have any insurance. I left my wallet in the cab I took home. I found my wife with another man and then my dog bit me.
So I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all - -I buy a drink, I drop a capsule in and sit here watching the poison dissolve; then you show up and drink the whole thing, ...........how is your day going?
Floorist
The Almighty
Floorist
The Almighty
Floorist
The Almighty
If a married man and woman, from Arkansas , got a divorce in Texas would that mean they are still brother and sister in Arkansas ???
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