Joke time....
- Thread starter Birddogyz
- Start date
Floorist
The Almighty
Here is an e-mail sent to Clarence Page of the Chicago Tribune after
an article he published concerning a name change for the Washington
Redskins.
Dear Mr. Page: I agree with our Native American population. I am
highly insulted by the racially charged name of the Washington
Redskins. One might argue that to name a professional football team
after Native Americans would exalt them as fine warriors, but nay,
nay. We must be careful not to offend, and in the spirit of political
correctness and courtesy, we must move forward.
Let's ditch the Kansas City Chiefs, the Atlanta Braves and the
Cleveland Indians. If your shorts are in a wad because of the
reference the name Redskins makes to skin color, then we need to get
rid of the Cleveland Browns.
The Carolina Panthers obviously were named to keep the memory of
militant Blacks from the 60's alive. Gone. It's offensive to us
white folk.
The New York Yankees offend the Southern population. Do you see a
team named for the Confederacy? No! There is no room for any
reference to that tragic war that cost this country so many young
men's lives.
I am also offended by the blatant references to the Catholic religion
among our sports team names. Totally inappropriate to have the New
Orleans Saints, the Los Angeles Angels or the San Diego Padres.
Then there are the team names that glorify criminals who raped and
pillaged. We are talking about the horrible Oakland Raiders, the
Minnesota Vikings, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and the Pittsburgh
Pirates!
Now, let us address those teams that clearly send the wrong message to
our children. The San Diego Chargers promote irresponsible fighting
or even spending habits. Wrong message to our children.
The New York Giants and the San Francisco Giants promote obesity, a
growing childhood epidemic. Wrong message to our children.
The Cincinnati Reds promote downers/barbiturates. Wrong message to
our children.
The Milwaukee Brewers. Well that goes without saying. Wrong message
to our children.
So, there you go. We need to support any legislation that comes out
to rectify this travesty, because the government will likely become
involved with this issue, as they should. Just the kind of thing the
do-nothing Congress loves.
As a diehard Oregon State fan, my wife and I, with all of this in
mind, suggest it might also make some sense to change the name of the
Oregon State women's athletic teams to something other than "the
Beavers (especially when they play Southern California. Do we really
want the Trojans sticking it to the Beavers)???
I always love your articles and I generally agree with them. As for
the Redskins name I would suggest they change the name to the
"Foreskins" to better represent their community, paying tribute to the
dick heads in Congress.
an article he published concerning a name change for the Washington
Redskins.
Dear Mr. Page: I agree with our Native American population. I am
highly insulted by the racially charged name of the Washington
Redskins. One might argue that to name a professional football team
after Native Americans would exalt them as fine warriors, but nay,
nay. We must be careful not to offend, and in the spirit of political
correctness and courtesy, we must move forward.
Let's ditch the Kansas City Chiefs, the Atlanta Braves and the
Cleveland Indians. If your shorts are in a wad because of the
reference the name Redskins makes to skin color, then we need to get
rid of the Cleveland Browns.
The Carolina Panthers obviously were named to keep the memory of
militant Blacks from the 60's alive. Gone. It's offensive to us
white folk.
The New York Yankees offend the Southern population. Do you see a
team named for the Confederacy? No! There is no room for any
reference to that tragic war that cost this country so many young
men's lives.
I am also offended by the blatant references to the Catholic religion
among our sports team names. Totally inappropriate to have the New
Orleans Saints, the Los Angeles Angels or the San Diego Padres.
Then there are the team names that glorify criminals who raped and
pillaged. We are talking about the horrible Oakland Raiders, the
Minnesota Vikings, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and the Pittsburgh
Pirates!
Now, let us address those teams that clearly send the wrong message to
our children. The San Diego Chargers promote irresponsible fighting
or even spending habits. Wrong message to our children.
The New York Giants and the San Francisco Giants promote obesity, a
growing childhood epidemic. Wrong message to our children.
The Cincinnati Reds promote downers/barbiturates. Wrong message to
our children.
The Milwaukee Brewers. Well that goes without saying. Wrong message
to our children.
So, there you go. We need to support any legislation that comes out
to rectify this travesty, because the government will likely become
involved with this issue, as they should. Just the kind of thing the
do-nothing Congress loves.
As a diehard Oregon State fan, my wife and I, with all of this in
mind, suggest it might also make some sense to change the name of the
Oregon State women's athletic teams to something other than "the
Beavers (especially when they play Southern California. Do we really
want the Trojans sticking it to the Beavers)???
I always love your articles and I generally agree with them. As for
the Redskins name I would suggest they change the name to the
"Foreskins" to better represent their community, paying tribute to the
dick heads in Congress.
Floorist
The Almighty
You just may be right.
Floorist
The Almighty
While riding my Harley, to avoid hitting a deer, I lost control and landed in a ditch, severely banging my head. I crawled out of the ditch to the edge of the road when, a very beautiful woman who asked, "Are you okay?"
As I looked up, I noticed, she want to help me.. "I'm okay I think," I replied as I pulled myself up to the side of the car to get a closer look.
She said, “Get in and I’ll take you home so I can clean and bandage on your head.”
"That's nice of you," I answered, "but I don't think my wife will like me doing that!"
"Oh, come on, I’m a nurse," she insisted. "I need to see if you have any more scrapes and then treat them properly."
Well, she was really pretty and very kind. Being sort of shaken , I agreed, but repeated, "I'm sure my wife won't like this."
We arrived at her place which was just a few miles away and, after a couple of cold drinks and the bandaging, I thanked her and said, "I feel a lot better, but I know my wife is going to be really upset so I'd better go now."
"Don't be silly!" she said with a smile, " Stay for a while. She won't know anything. By the way, where is she?"
"Still in the ditch with my Harley, I guess." MEN WILL BE MEN!!!!!!
As I looked up, I noticed, she want to help me.. "I'm okay I think," I replied as I pulled myself up to the side of the car to get a closer look.
She said, “Get in and I’ll take you home so I can clean and bandage on your head.”
"That's nice of you," I answered, "but I don't think my wife will like me doing that!"
"Oh, come on, I’m a nurse," she insisted. "I need to see if you have any more scrapes and then treat them properly."
Well, she was really pretty and very kind. Being sort of shaken , I agreed, but repeated, "I'm sure my wife won't like this."
We arrived at her place which was just a few miles away and, after a couple of cold drinks and the bandaging, I thanked her and said, "I feel a lot better, but I know my wife is going to be really upset so I'd better go now."
"Don't be silly!" she said with a smile, " Stay for a while. She won't know anything. By the way, where is she?"
"Still in the ditch with my Harley, I guess." MEN WILL BE MEN!!!!!!
Floorist
The Almighty
oldognewtrick
In memory of
The Mexican maid asked for a pay increase.
The wife was very upset about this, and decided to talk to her about the raise. She asked: "Now Maria, why do you want a pay increase?"
Maria: "Well, Señora, there are three reasons why I wanna increase." "The first is that I iron better than you."
Wife: "Who said you iron better than me?" Maria: " Jor huzban he say so."
Wife: "Oh yeah?"
Maria: "The second reason eez that I am a better cook than you."
Wife: "Nonsense, who said you were a better cook than me?"
Maria: " Jor hozban did."
Wife, increasingly agitated: "Oh he did, did he?"
Maria: "The third reason is that I am better at sex than you."
Wife: (Really boiling now and gritting her teeth): "And did my husband say that as well?"
Maria: "No Señora ... the gardener did"
Wife: "So, how much of a raise you think would be fair?
The wife was very upset about this, and decided to talk to her about the raise. She asked: "Now Maria, why do you want a pay increase?"
Maria: "Well, Señora, there are three reasons why I wanna increase." "The first is that I iron better than you."
Wife: "Who said you iron better than me?" Maria: " Jor huzban he say so."
Wife: "Oh yeah?"
Maria: "The second reason eez that I am a better cook than you."
Wife: "Nonsense, who said you were a better cook than me?"
Maria: " Jor hozban did."
Wife, increasingly agitated: "Oh he did, did he?"
Maria: "The third reason is that I am better at sex than you."
Wife: (Really boiling now and gritting her teeth): "And did my husband say that as well?"
Maria: "No Señora ... the gardener did"
Wife: "So, how much of a raise you think would be fair?
oldognewtrick
In memory of
My lesbian neighbors bought me a nice Rolex. I guess they misunderstood me when I said I wanna watch.
Floorist
The Almighty
Floorist
The Almighty
An Alabama pastor said to his congregation, ”Someone in this congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the Ku Klux Klan. This is a horrible lie and one which a Christian community cannot tolerate. I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this. Now, I want the party who said this to stand and ask forgiveness from God and this Christian family."
No one moved.
The preacher continued, "Do you have the nerve to face me and admit this is a falsehood? Remember, you will be forgiven and in your heart you will feel glory. Now stand and confess your transgression."
Again, all was quiet.
Then, slowly, a drop-dead gorgeous blonde with a body that would stop a runaway train rose from the third pew.
Her head was bowed, and her voice quivered as she spoke, "Reverend there has been a terrible misunderstanding. I never said you were a member of the Ku Klux Klan. I simply told a couple of my friends that you were a wizard under the sheets."
The preacher fell to his knees, his wife fainted, and the congregation roared.
No one moved.
The preacher continued, "Do you have the nerve to face me and admit this is a falsehood? Remember, you will be forgiven and in your heart you will feel glory. Now stand and confess your transgression."
Again, all was quiet.
Then, slowly, a drop-dead gorgeous blonde with a body that would stop a runaway train rose from the third pew.
Her head was bowed, and her voice quivered as she spoke, "Reverend there has been a terrible misunderstanding. I never said you were a member of the Ku Klux Klan. I simply told a couple of my friends that you were a wizard under the sheets."
The preacher fell to his knees, his wife fainted, and the congregation roared.
oldognewtrick
In memory of
Floorist
The Almighty
Floorist
The Almighty
oldognewtrick
In memory of
I have that gun
Floorist
The Almighty
Greeting Cards: When you care enough to send the very best
but not enough to actually write something.
but not enough to actually write something.
oldognewtrick
In memory of
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