Floorist
The Almighty
Don't you hate those people who knock on your and say be saved or you will burn?
Stupid firemen.
Stupid firemen.
Joke time....
- Thread starter Birddogyz
- Start date
Floorist
The Almighty
oldognewtrick
In memory of
Woman goes to a counselor, worried about her husband’s temper.
The counselor asks, "What's the problem?
The woman says, "I don't know what to do. Every day Roger loses his temper for no reason. It scares me."
The Counselor says, "I have a cure for that. When it seems your husband is getting angry, take a double shot of Jack Daniel's bourbon and swish it in your mouth. Swish and swish, but don't swallow it until he either leaves the room or calms down."
Two weeks later, she goes back to the counselor, looking fresh and reborn.
She tells the counselor, "That was a brilliant idea. Every time Roger started to get angry, I swished the Jack Daniels and he would start to calm down.? It was amazing! ? What is it about Jack Daniels that makes it work like that?
The counselor said, "The Jack Daniel's does nothing. Keeping your mouth shut does the trick.
The counselor asks, "What's the problem?
The woman says, "I don't know what to do. Every day Roger loses his temper for no reason. It scares me."
The Counselor says, "I have a cure for that. When it seems your husband is getting angry, take a double shot of Jack Daniel's bourbon and swish it in your mouth. Swish and swish, but don't swallow it until he either leaves the room or calms down."
Two weeks later, she goes back to the counselor, looking fresh and reborn.
She tells the counselor, "That was a brilliant idea. Every time Roger started to get angry, I swished the Jack Daniels and he would start to calm down.? It was amazing! ? What is it about Jack Daniels that makes it work like that?
The counselor said, "The Jack Daniel's does nothing. Keeping your mouth shut does the trick.
oldognewtrick
In memory of
oldognewtrick
In memory of
Floorist
The Almighty
oldognewtrick
In memory of
oldognewtrick
In memory of
A priest and a rabbi were sitting next to each other on an airplane.
After a while, the priest turned to the rabbi and asked, "Is it still a requirement of your faith that you not eat pork?"
The rabbi responded, "Yes, that is still one of our beliefs."
The priest then asked, "Have you ever eaten pork?"
The rabbi replied, "Yes, on one occasion I did succumb to temptation and tasted a ham sandwich."
The priest nodded in understanding and went on with his reading.
A while later, the rabbi spoke up and asked the priest, "Is it still a requirement of your church that you remain celibate?"
The priest replied, "Yes, that is still very much a part of our faith."
The rabbi then asked him, "Have you ever fallen to the temptations of the flesh?"
The priest replied, "Yes, rabbi, on one occasion I was weak and broke with my faith."
The rabbi nodded understandingly and remained silent, thinking about five minutes.
Finally, the rabbi said, "Beats the hell out of a ham sandwich, doesn't it?"
After a while, the priest turned to the rabbi and asked, "Is it still a requirement of your faith that you not eat pork?"
The rabbi responded, "Yes, that is still one of our beliefs."
The priest then asked, "Have you ever eaten pork?"
The rabbi replied, "Yes, on one occasion I did succumb to temptation and tasted a ham sandwich."
The priest nodded in understanding and went on with his reading.
A while later, the rabbi spoke up and asked the priest, "Is it still a requirement of your church that you remain celibate?"
The priest replied, "Yes, that is still very much a part of our faith."
The rabbi then asked him, "Have you ever fallen to the temptations of the flesh?"
The priest replied, "Yes, rabbi, on one occasion I was weak and broke with my faith."
The rabbi nodded understandingly and remained silent, thinking about five minutes.
Finally, the rabbi said, "Beats the hell out of a ham sandwich, doesn't it?"
oldognewtrick
In memory of
oldognewtrick
In memory of
oldognewtrick
In memory of
Floorist
The Almighty
oldognewtrick
In memory of
Floorist
The Almighty
oldognewtrick
In memory of
Little know fact: The German word for bra is "Stoppemfloppen".
oldognewtrick
In memory of
oldognewtrick
In memory of
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