Joke time....

[Havasu]

During his physical examination, a doctor asked a man about his physical activity level.

He described a typical day this way:

"Well, yesterday afternoon, I took a five hour walk about 7km through some pretty rough terrain.

I waded along the edge of a lake. I pushed my way through bush.

I got sand in my shoes and my eyes.

I avoided standing on a snake.

I climbed several rocky hills.

I took a few 'leaks' behind some big trees - (ahhh, what a relief)

The mental stress of it all left me shattered.

At the end of it all I drank eight beers"



Inspired by the story, the doctor said,



"You must be one hell of an outdoors man!"

"No," he replied,







"I'm just a **** golfer".

 

[oldognewtrick]

Everyone has a hidden talent they don’t know about until the tequila is poured.

 

[oldognewtrick]

Chris tries out the new cool jump he made in the D9 he bought at the auction.

 

[Chris]

That would be cool but I have a D6 not a D9.

Its rough on flat ground, I couldn't imagine leaving the ground for any amount of time.

 

[oldognewtrick]

 

[Greco]

Might be old, but still funny:

“So, today I went over to the local Gun shop to get a Colt 9mm handgun for home/personal protection.When I was ready to pay for the pistol and ammo, the cashier said, "Strip down, facing me."


Making a mental note to complain to the government about gun control wackos running amok, I did just as she had instructed.

When the hysterical shrieking and alarms finally subsided I found out she was referring to how I should place my credit card in the card reader!

As a senior citizen, I do not get flustered often, but this time it took me a while to get my pants back on.I've been asked to shop elsewhere in the future.


They need to make their instructions to seniors a little more clear.

I still don't think I looked that bad! I just need to wear underwear more often.”

 

[Greco]

 

[oldognewtrick]

 

[Greco]

 

[Greco]

 

[Greco]

 

[oldognewtrick]

 

[oldognewtrick]

You know that little part of the brain that tells you somthing is a bad idea?

Where do I get one of those?

 

[Greco]

 

[oldognewtrick]

 

[Greco]

 

[Floorist]

“When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, 'Why god? Why me?' and the thundering voice of God answered, 'There's just something about you that pisses me off”........Stephen King

 

[Greco]

 

[oldognewtrick]

 

[oldognewtrick]