Joke time....
- Thread starter Birddogyz
- Start date
oldognewtrick
In memory of
Ennie, meanie, minni, Moe.
Floorist
The Almighty
oldognewtrick
In memory of
oldognewtrick
In memory of
oldognewtrick
In memory of
Ah, to be 2 again...
oldognewtrick
In memory of
Floorist
The Almighty
oldognewtrick
In memory of
Should have used an axe. Solve both of "its" problem.
oldognewtrick
In memory of
Floorist
The Almighty
Wise Italian Grandfather
An old Italian man in Brooklyn is dying. He calls his grandson to his bedside, "Guido, I wan' you lissina me. I wan' you to take-a my chrome plated ...38 revolver so you will always remember me."
"But grandpa, I really don't like guns.. How about you leave me your Rolex watch instead?"
"You lissina me, boy! Somma day you gonna be runna da business, you gonna have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a big-a home and maybe a couple of bambinos. "
"Somma day you gonna come-a home and maybe finda you wife inna bed with another man. "Whatta you gonna do then? Pointa to you watch and say, 'Times up!' "?
An old Italian man in Brooklyn is dying. He calls his grandson to his bedside, "Guido, I wan' you lissina me. I wan' you to take-a my chrome plated ...38 revolver so you will always remember me."
"But grandpa, I really don't like guns.. How about you leave me your Rolex watch instead?"
"You lissina me, boy! Somma day you gonna be runna da business, you gonna have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a big-a home and maybe a couple of bambinos. "
"Somma day you gonna come-a home and maybe finda you wife inna bed with another man. "Whatta you gonna do then? Pointa to you watch and say, 'Times up!' "?
Floorist
The Almighty
The Washington Redskins will now be the Washington Commanders or the Commies for short.
Floorist
The Almighty
Joe Biden is just Hillary Clinton with a smaller dick.
Floorist
The Almighty
Floorist
The Almighty
Floorist
The Almighty
Q) What's the best form of birth control after 50 years of age?
A) Nu*dity
*
Q) What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
A) About 45 lbs.
*
Q) What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
A) About 45 minutes.
*
Q) What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
A) Through his chest with a sharp knife.
*
Q) Why do men want to marry virgins?
A) They can't stand criticism.
*
Q) Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good looking?
A) Because those men already have boyfriends.
*
Q) What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
A) After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
*
Q) What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
A) The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
*
Q) What do you call a smart blonde?
A) A golden retriever.
*
Q) Why does the bride always wear white?
A) Because it's good for the dishwasher to match the stove and refrigerator.
*
Q) How do you know when you're really ugly?
A) Dogs hump your leg with their eyes closed.
*
Q) How do you know when you're leading a pathetic life?
A) When a nymphomaniac tells you, "Lets just be friends."
*
Q) What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
A) "Are you sure it's mine?"
*
Q) What would you call it when a person from Marksville has one arm shorter than the other?
A) A speech impediment.
*
Q) What's the difference between a Northern fairy tale and a Southern fairy tale?
A) A Northern fairy tale begins "Once upon a time." A Southern fairy tale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this sh#t."
A) Nu*dity
*
Q) What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
A) About 45 lbs.
*
Q) What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
A) About 45 minutes.
*
Q) What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
A) Through his chest with a sharp knife.
*
Q) Why do men want to marry virgins?
A) They can't stand criticism.
*
Q) Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good looking?
A) Because those men already have boyfriends.
*
Q) What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
A) After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
*
Q) What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
A) The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
*
Q) What do you call a smart blonde?
A) A golden retriever.
*
Q) Why does the bride always wear white?
A) Because it's good for the dishwasher to match the stove and refrigerator.
*
Q) How do you know when you're really ugly?
A) Dogs hump your leg with their eyes closed.
*
Q) How do you know when you're leading a pathetic life?
A) When a nymphomaniac tells you, "Lets just be friends."
*
Q) What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
A) "Are you sure it's mine?"
*
Q) What would you call it when a person from Marksville has one arm shorter than the other?
A) A speech impediment.
*
Q) What's the difference between a Northern fairy tale and a Southern fairy tale?
A) A Northern fairy tale begins "Once upon a time." A Southern fairy tale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this sh#t."
oldognewtrick
In memory of
Can't see this being a big seller...
Reminds me of that drink concoction before my colonoscopy
Floorist
The Almighty
2
